Ode to a Dress

Digital media can more easily capture and share an ordinary object or moment than other forms because it is easy. Anyone can get a camera for cheap and take a picture. A person will be more likely to take pictures of ordinary things if it is easy and cheap. If it wasn’t, more thought and planning would go into a photograph or recording. I think Seinfeld is a good example of observing the ordinary. After all, the show is famous for being “about nothing.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2lfZg-apSA

Ode to a Dress

A perfect dress will have a flattering neckline. There are several acceptable options, but one must make sure that it does not require constant adjustment. This part of the dress needs to always remain in close contact with the chest. The sleeves will not constrict the arms in any way. The dress will hug the ribcage down to a girl’s natural waistline (generally a sash or belt can be found here), where it will fall freely and naturally to just below the knee. If it is any longer a girl’s legs will appear spindly and look as though they are not attached to her body. A dress that is too long might also make you look like a pioneer or a hippie (I mean no offense to the pioneers, but their styles are uncomfortable and unnecessary). The dress cannot be too short, either, because one’s knees would be exposed. Knees are wrinkly, dry, pudgy, shaving-cut-plastered, ugly little things, and one should try her best to keep them covered at all times. The skirt will be full, but not excessively large. The fabric that this dress is made of will be lightweight and made of something soft, like cotton. This will allow free and easy movement. There are many acceptable patterns, but this list does not usually include stripes of any kind.

A perfect dress such as this will provide all the confidence a girl needs (especially when worn with comfortable shoes, a pearl necklace, and lipstick). When wearing a perfect dress, she will feel free, happy, and beautiful. I often wonder why I don’t wear dresses every day. Unfortunately, they exist mainly in the past, closets of very old women, and stores with high prices.